The Process of Forgiveness
‘Forgive and forget' is one of the most overheard words when a mistake is made. We generally use both words because forgiveness requires the heart to intentionally let go of anger, and forgetting requires the brain to consciously accept and move on. Forgiveness means making complete peace and not letting any emotion from the act committed affect the present state. Forgiveness is to stop being angry for the resentments caused, but how does this actually work.
Forgiveness can be categorised into two categories: forgiving oneself and forgiving others. As humans, we tend to commit mistakes and blame ourselves for them. Even if we make mistakes, we shouldn't be upset with ourselves because that would only fuel the flames of hatred. Forgiving others also requires a great heart; not forgiving can cause anger and resentment to hold up and ruin things at any moment.
Why forgive?
Forgiveness is the second-most selfish act after kindness. Write it down: any grudge you hold will not let that drink digest in peace. Not forgiving or not being able to can directly affect physical health. Numerous studies have demonstrated the health benefits of forgiveness. The goal of forgiving need not always be to make peace; instead, this is a process of healing. It is only to heal ourselves and make us better.
How does this work?
Forgiveness begins with the intention to let go and ends with rebuilding the same relationship with the person. You may not agree with the second part, but that is how it works. Being unforgiving does not automatically make you a horrible person, but forgiveness also demands being able to communicate and interact with the person who has wronged in the same way as before. Forgiving requires making complete peace and taking the utmost care to restore the relationship to the way it was.
Does forgiving mean forgetting?
Forgiveness does not include forgetting, and they are two completely different mental processes on the brain. Forgiveness is a mental state where the person forgives the person who caused the harm. As per recent studies, forgetting is a day-to-day activity of the brain. These two, though interlinked, are not the same; forgiving helps you reconcile with a person, whereas forgetting helps you get bound with the same love.
Does moving on require forgiveness?
Yes, you haven’t moved on if you haven’t forgiven. Moving on means stepping out of comfort zones, entering a different phase of life, and leaving all the bad and hate behind. You cannot move on if you have not forgiven. People say that you can move on without any of this happening, but personally, I wouldn’t consider it moving on. MOVING ON IS NOT POSSIBLE WITHOUT FORGIVING.
I recently heard somebody say you can forgive a person but not give him the same place in your heart or surroundings, which obviously means forgive them and keep them at a distance. If God thought of forgiveness this way, how far would we be from him?